I am in pain, but I am not useless.

Even as a kid, I have always been creative.

I knew that whatever job I got as an adult would stimulate my mind and allow me to create. I went to college and graduated with a BFA in Graphic Design, and got my first job as a designer, then later an Art Director, at an advertising agency. While the long hours, horrible timelines, and expectations could be burdensome and take away the excitement of creative problem-solving and creativity, I felt like I was doing the right thing. Always the person to jump up and offer help or stay late.

Then I started experiencing extreme neck and back pain, anxiety, and dizziness that made it near impossible to sit at my desk in the office. I began working from home, attending numerous doctor appointments and tests, and seeing a therapist. I felt consumed by my anxiety around my health, to not let anybody down, and was being pressured to get back into the office or face an absolute pause on my career at the agency. Something that I had worked so hard at over the years, and my body was letting me down.

“Can you even work right now?” the creative director pushed, apparently unaware that at this time, the only thing I could do was lay on my couch or bed with a laptop and work. I couldn’t visit my friends, go out for drinks, or catch a movie. Anything that involved sitting in a chair was off the table. Sitting in the car for a quick road trip was unbearable, and it was all I could do to get to my next appointment.

And yet, here I was, facing an unknown health crisis and the possibility of losing my job. And I did. 

They let me go from my job after being put on a mandatory leave of absence to “focus on my health”. It was unpaid, despite two weeks of pay given to me after I pushed back. I would have my health care for two months and then we would discuss my coming back. I was never given the chance, and they closed my position at the end of that timeframe and attempted to gaslight me by alluding to this being my fault for not having begged and pleaded for them to take me back.

The thing they tell you that is so great about being a graphic designer is as long as you have access to a computer, you can work from anywhere. It’s one of the top jobs listed when researching careers for those with chronic pain disorders. Post-pandemic, it seems even more accessible as many companies began adopting work-from-home policies. Despite this culture shift, many employers are taking away access to work-from-home options which is terrifying to those of us that are struggling with pain and sickness. 

I found so much freedom in my ability to work from home, and I’ve read many stories from people who feel the same. I can take breaks throughout the day to stretch and ease my muscles. I have access to my heating pads, and the ability to lay down if the strain became too much. My medicine and workout equipment are all here should I need pain management throughout the day. I have all the equipment I need to get my job done and done well.

The problem that I constantly faced with working from home, wasn’t something that was in my control. It was a battle faced time and time again at this particular company: communication. Because I wasn’t in the office, I became the last priority as far as communication in regard to project updates, feedback/revisions, and even when it came to assigning new projects. A serious case of object permanence. 

I became a burden to them because it took a little extra effort to send me an email, slack, zoom, or even a quick phone call. It was almost a punishment for something out of my control.

With an invisible illness, people very quickly forget why your situation might look a little different from others. 

It’s sheer laziness to act like it’s impossible to work with people who are not in an office. It is imperative moving forward to create spaces that are inclusive for employees. Technology has obviously come a long way, and while it’s not always easy, we must embrace how it can help people. The pandemic has created a new wave of attitudes surrounding work life balance, whether it’s getting to spend more time with your families without an hour commute every day, or if it’s getting to be able to work with significantly less pain.  

If 72 and Sunny can be a work-from-anywhere company, so can anyone.